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ClaudiusWHO IS ALAN HANSON?
Claudius

Alan was our number 1 choice to play Claudius. In fact he was our only choice, as nobody else turned up to the audition and the only people of suitable age in the bar downstairs were too pissed to read. We suspect that noble, dedicated actors were put off by the fact that the shoot was set in the middle of the world cup.

In the end though it worked out well, being from Australia, Alan didn't know that the Cup was on, and we forced him to sign a contract before he did. Interesting character ideas did come forth as a result though: Who would have thought of playing the king of Denmark with the habit of lapsing into a Welsh accent on occasion? Although some of the paraphrasing was a little OTT and we weren't sure that the film would get a certificate at all if we left what Alan would like to do with wallabies whenever he got his lines wrong.

We would like to state that no wallabies were harmed during the making of this film.


GertrudeWHO IS DI SHERLOCK?
Gertrude

Di looks nothing like her casting photo - she looks much better! She's a real hot potato with a great pair of knockers and all the cast report that she has very nice underwear.

What more could a man want? She even likes football!

She's also available at very reasonable rates and told me that she's particularly keen to meet someone who's "built like a donkey". Whatever that's supposed to mean.

Applications on a postcard please. To 3rd lavatory on the left, Kings Cross Station.

     
     
     
     

hamletmovie.co.uk
a feature film by alexander fodor
a zed resistor company production
www.zedresistor.com

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